Dat’s a Millennial trap Rap

Oh the Fed treadeth so so lightly

tryin to state the state of things so politely

gotta keep them interest rate so low

but them cant get much lower than half-point from zero;

now it be knockin’ hell outa euro,

propellin’ Dollar to once and future hero.

To raise them rates would be classically correct

oh but then them traders might eject

their programs from gliding oh so perfect

along HFT tracks that them algorithms select.

Autie Jan cant withdraw the punchbowl;

uncle Ben had schooled her ’bout that donut hole.

As you go through life, investor, whatever be your goal

keep your eye on the Fednut, not on the whole.

Kick that can, baby, kick it down the road;

we don’t want them bulls havin’ to unload.

Keep ’em buying on the dips

with e-eyes fixed upon them blips,

Watch ’em risin’, selling on the peaks

this trend could fly for weeks n weeks.

But hey! them near zero rates punish savers;

it aint like it used to be, with small-bank favors.

How them millennials gon’ pay back them college loans

while Zirpy Fed hover in zero zones?

Meanwhile, ‘though emerging nations buy them new cell phones

jihad jinx be out slashin’ no-go zones,

which aint no climates for no new homes,

juxt red-line zones with bloods n bones.

What kinda world is that

for anything but talkin’ skat?

And with no nest-egg savins in the bank,

wha you gon’ do, drive a tank?

Maybe risk your small-caps in data high-risk market,

or spend it at all while at walmart parkin?

I say this secular stagnation

it juxt stultify my ‘magination.

With nutt’n on balance sheets but diminishin’ returnin’s,

where I gon’ stuff my hard-earned earnin’s?

Wit dem central banks winkin’

and HFTs a-blinkin’

and all dem ole free-market opportunities shrinkin’,

I think I feel them fabled long-tails slinkin’

which means I need a different way of thinkin’.

Pshaw! nuf, that ole magic growth it refuse to come

even ‘though gas price be low as scum

While .gov employment indicators

morph to .gov-on-fumes manipulators,

central banks toss hot potato;

but feel to me like rot tomato

Gotta get them econ0my off QE methamphetamine,

get it back on track, American Dream!

Is that dream now juxt pie in the sky?

Just sayin, wtf, don’t ask me why.

But hey! I be tryin’ to discern these market dynamics

and hopin’ there aint no market titanics.

Someone said it juxt a rigged game

for the 1%, you know dem with wealth and fame.

But I’s gon’ get in this game;

ask me again n’ I’ll tell u the same.

It the only game in town that I know of;

I know it still be there when them push come to shove.

And when them market collapses, like them big house of cards,

then I’ll jump in the game; I’ll scoop up them shards!

As them fluffed-up values deflate in them crashes,

it’s then I’ll buy in, as them fall on them assets!

 

Glass Chimera

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